Expiry dates

"Oh tonight I'm feeling fine, I'm alone just wasting time, no Friday movie nights, or romantic candle lights.."

I love David Choi. He sings love songs alright, but somehow they don't make me cringe like others do. And most importantly, they're not about sex, drugs and clubs. Really sick of listening to songs about them recently, unfortunately most of them come with very catchy and interesting beats, and I can't help enjoying them.. Oh the irony!


Some songs mean alot to me. There are songs that catch my attention, and fade away with time. There are songs that stay in my heart for eternity, because to me, not only their melodies play a part.. I think lyrics play a huge role too. And that's why there are not many songs which I could listen to everyday, forever. That's probably why I do not like Ke$ha's songs (Blah Blah Blah) - lyrics make no sense.. although, some beats really bring me back to my youth. Yes, I do feel old now actually, simply because I think I have changed.

So.. perhaps people in my lives play similar roles. Some strongly attract me for a short period of time, but they fade away with time. Some.. stay in my heart. I could spend my life everyday with them without losing interest.. so, that's rare. Somebody told me that, everything has an expiry date. It's just a matter of time. And then I asked, then how do marriages work? And he answered.. kids bring families together. I used to think divorces are sinful, and not common. How wrong was I? Did it have to take me so many years to realize that.. EVERYTHING - has an expiry date?

Then I start to realize that spending time with myself is pretty relaxing. I actually enjoy a frappucino at Starbucks, sitting at a lonely corner, reading a good book, observing the latest trends as pedestrians walk by through the window. Alone. Listening to some good music like David Choi's would be a plus too. But this ALSO has an expiry date.. because I'm not going to do this everyday am I? I would be bored to death. At times, I do need a proper life - and that means working my ass off.

There are things I hoped to accomplish by now, a list that I wrote a few years back. Sadly, I looked in the mirror today and saw a failure. Could have been me, could have been circumstances.. but nevertheless, I could have done better and made changes when I had the chance. Even more sadly, the journey is ending for me soon. This path is coming to a dead end, and thats when a new road opens up for me. Somehow it feels dissatisfying to start a new journey knowing that you did not accomplish your goal in the previous - with no chance to turn back.

If I try to see myself 10 years down the road - I can't. I don't know where to go, or what I will be doing. It's so stressful to set goals after this, because everytime I hope too much, I never get what I want. I think I used to be more motivated and cheerful back as a teenager. I suppose that side of me had an expiry date too?

So what's left of me.. is what I'm dealing with to get through tough times. Don't assume I don't have tough times, you don't know, do you? Maybe I start developing new sides of me, which will also have expiry dates, no?

So on the bright side.. my negativity, my "tough" times will also have expiry dates, yes? That's why they say when there are bad days, there will be good days.


Random rants at 4am aren't doing me any good.. I'm really tired. I don't even know what I just blogged about. Perhaps I'll read this tomorrow, and forget everything, because my memory has an expiry date too?

You said.. many things don't last forever. But some things do.

You lied. Nothing is forever.